Balancing Working Motherhood: My Journey, My Routines, and My Why
A variety of topics in this week's edition including why substack, a day in the life, and my working motherhood journey
I wanted to share more about why I decided to start this substack as I continue to figure out how to balance working motherhood (mostly through trial and error) and what routines I have put in place to protect my sanity.
Why start this substack?
As I recently shared, I consume a lot of content from moms on social media who share practical tips for motherhood, their routines, and so on, but none of these people seem to be moms with traditional 9-to-5 jobs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a SAHM or someone who works more flexible hours, but that isn’t my reality. As I started talking to more moms, I realized it isn’t the reality for most women, and they struggle to relate to this type of content.
I also really hate negative parenting advice and when you’re pregnant, people say “are you ready to never sleep again?” or when you have a newborn, and they say, “oh just wait until they’re walking or talking back” … it seems like people LOVE to talk about the negatives of parenting, but not the positives. I love it when my friends ask me questions about how we transitioned off bottles, what we do with screen time, or how I manage to get both kids in and out of the car in a busy parking lot, and I can share a positive answer! So I thought… why not share a little bit about what I’ve learned on a platform with a larger audience in hopes that it helps more moms (especially working moms) feel confident?
My journey
I had our first in August 2021, a boy, and our second in April 2024, a girl. They are now almost four and a fresh one-year-old. I’ve been at Cornell University since 2018, so I've navigated both of my pregnancies and postpartum journeys through this experience. When I had my first, I was an individual contributor (working remotely) on a larger marketing and communications team but later took over that team and had in-person direct reports when my second was born, making that a different pregnancy and postpartum experience.
Another small yet significant aspect of our lives is that my husband is a college football coach. People jokingly call coach’s wives “football widows” or “married single moms,” which is sort of true from August to November and again during recruiting season in January and/or May. This lifestyle is definitely not for everyone because it comes with its challenges - the uncertainty of where the next job will be or how long you’ll live in one place, dad missing a lot of parties and sporting events, and a lot of Saturdays spent at the football field. But it’s also really fun and exciting. One of the things I enjoy most is meeting 18-22-year-old young men and then also having the opportunity to observe their parents and learn about their parenting style. It’s really put things into perspective for me as I’ve realized the young adults who turn out best have parents who really love them and show up for them.
Due to the football schedule, I often have the kids myself on most days, which has forced me to establish a routine that works best for both my kids and me. I also firmly believe the key to my sanity, especially on the long solo parenting days, is waking up before my kids.
A typical day
Most weekdays look pretty similar in our house, and nothing we do is very groundbreaking but I do really enjoy watching “day in the life videos” and getting ideas for how to improve our routines/systems. So here is mine:
5:30 am - wakeup and do a 20 minute weight workout or walk the dog around the neighborhood
6:30 am - drink hot coffee, get myself ready for the day
7:00 am - kids wake up - get them dressed immediately, brush teeth
7:30 am - head downstairs and eat breakfast and get everything together for the day
8:00 am - out the door and daycare drop off
8:30 am - 4:30 pm - typical workday
4:30 pm - daycare pickup
5:00 pm - make dinner (usually something from my 20-minute dinner list)
5:30 -6:00 pm - eat dinner, during the offseason - dad comes home around this time
6:00 - 6:45 pm - play outside, go for a walk, play in our playroom if the weather isn’t ideal
6:45 pm - bedtime routine for the 1-year-old (bath, brush teeth, PJs, books, sound machine, bed around 7) during this time, my almost 4-year-old takes a bath and puts his PJs on too
7:00 pm - spend some 1:1 time with our oldest - sometimes he wants to make cookies, others we play basketball or football or play a board game
7:30 pm - bedtime routine with the oldest - he's usually in bed by 8
8:00 pm - clean up the kitchen and get things ready for the next day
8:30 pm - catch up on a few emails/other work things
9:30ish pm - in bed reading or watching tv
The morning routine and bedtime routines are staples in our house. My kids know what to expect, and I have a better understanding of when certain things need to happen. But, we are also flexible! My son is now in “ninja” class once a week, so that means we eat dinner later and go to bed later - sometimes bedtime takes longer because the kids are overtired, but that is ok! As a first-time mom, being off schedule would’ve really stressed me out but I have chilled out A LOT since having my second.
Again, nothing we do is groundbreaking but it works for us. It might not work for you, and that is ok too! Parenting is all about figuring out what works best for you and your family and sticking with it (for the most part).
I hope to start interviewing working moms 1-2 times per month starting in June. If you would like to be featured or know someone who is crushing it as a working mom, send me contact info!
Also, if there are other topics you would like to see covered, send me a message and let me know.
Thanks for being here! <3